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NEWS

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WE SEND KIDS TO COAL CAMP

January 15, 2017

Here at LukaLips Destruction Company, we make dreams come true! We've liberated hundreds of kids from some of the worst orphanages in the country and we're giving these kids the opportunity of a lifetime at Coal Camp.
See the camp brochure below. Kids Coal Camp

NEW COMIC

July 23, 2016

Check out Troy's latest comic strip: The Adventures of Sally the Slut

TJ's SLEEPY TIME HOT DOGS

April 20, 2016

Our old friend TJ has started yet another business venture. Please check it out!

TROY LUKKARILA STRICKEN WITH JAZZ HANDS

December 12, 2015

Troy Lukkarila with Jazz Hands
We here at LukaLips Destruction Co. ask you to keep Troy in your thoughts and prayers as he battles jazz hands. Although jazz hands is incurable, we still remain optimistic that Troy will recover.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CARTOONS?

November 11, 2015

The cartoons will slowly be making their way to the "Videos" page, but thanks for asking! What? You didn't ask. Well, thanks for caring. What? You don't care. Well then, why the hell are you here? No, wait! Come back! I'm not trying to push you away! I love you! Don't leave me! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!

TROY STARTS A WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

May 21, 2015

Troy's Weight Loss Program

TROY LUKKARILA CONTINUES TO RECOVER FROM LATEST ACCIDENT

March 7, 2015

The staff of LukaLips Destruction Company want to thank the kind people for their prayers and well wishes. With the help of the good Lord and a good surgeon, Troy will have his penis reattached before the end of March.

ROY PEAK HAS NEW CD

January 11, 2015

Roy Peak CD >
Roy Peak was an engineer and coproducer for every one of troy Lukkarila's CDs. Now he has his own CD and we urge you to check it out! In fact, we demand it! So if you want this relationship to continue, you just better check it out. RoyPeak.com.

TJ's TUCK-IN SERVICE

November 29, 2014

Our old friend TJ has started yet another business venture. Please check it out!

FOLIO WEEKLY PULLS AN OLD CD OUT OF THE GARBAGE

August 25, 2014

Folio Weekly
Jacksonville journalist and musician John Citroni's writes about Troy Lukkarila and Troy's CD Don't Sit On Tables in this week's Folio Weekly. Troy and all his subhuman employees at LukaLips Destruction Co are grateful for John's kind words. Troy is especially grateful that the article is mostly about his music and not about the working conditions at LukaLips Destruction Co. If you can't pick up a copy, you can at least read the article here.

TROY LUKKARILA'S SHORT FILMS AT SUN-RAY CINEMA
June 12, 2014

May 5, 2014

TheShort Films of Troy Lukkarila
Don't miss a fun-filled night with Troy Lukkarila as he hosts the showing of his films at Sun-Ray Cinema in Jacksonville. There will be behind the scenes footage and stories. Heckling is welcomed. More info here.

TROY LUKKARILA STARTS NEW CHARITY

April 30, 2014

Troy Lukkarila starts a new charity

LUKALIPS DESTRUCTION CO INTRODUCES SERIES OF EDUCATIONAL TOYS

March 11, 2014

Grow Your Own Penis
Here at LukaLips Destruction Co, we are proud to offer the first in a series of educational toys for kids. Because, you know, kids are important and stuff. They should learn shit.

ACOUSTIC THROWDOWN AT SHANTYTOWN PUB

August 6, 2013

Acoustic Throwdown

NEW PRODUCT FROM LUKALIPS PHARMACEUTICALS

April 4, 2013

Lead Supplements

THE MOST AWESOME SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND

April 4, 2013

Acoustic Throwdown

OUR SUPPOSITORY REPOSITORY OPEN IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

December 8, 2012

TRAGIC THANKSGIVING AT LUKKARILA HOUSE

November 22, 2012

Cats caught eating the neck of Troy Lukkarila
It was a somber Thanksgiving morning at the house of Troy Lukkarila. As family arrived for what they thought was going to an enjoyable family gathering, they were shocked to find Troy Lukkarila dead, apparently killed by his own house cats.

According to a statement by Sgt. J.K. Schmidt of the Jacksonville sheriff's office, "Troy Lukkarila put up a good fight, but in the end he was simply overpowered by the cats."

"While I eat my turkey today, I just won’t be able to help thinking about those cats eating my brother’s neck. They literally ruined Thanksgiving for us!" said Troy’s brother, Paul. "I never did trust them cats, but we’ll give ‘em a good home anyways."

The staff of LukaLips Destruction Company hopes the death of their founder can serve to remind people everywhere of the danger posed by domesticated cats. "If Troy’s death helps prevent just one other another person from getting eaten by their cats, his death was worth it."

LUKALIPS DESTRUCTION CO PUBLISHES NEW COOKBOOK

August 12, 2012

101 Easy Meals Made From Hair by Troy Lukkarila
Every day in this country thousands of pounds of perfectly good hair gets discarded, ultimately ending up in landfills. Why should this wonderful source of protein go to waste when we have so many adults and children going hungry? That's why I wrote this book.

~Troy