NEWS

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TROY WINS FIRST PLACE AT MONSTER MASH
(Jacksonville Public Library 6th Annual Film Festival)

May 09, 2009

Troy Lukkarila celebrates with his trophy

TROY LUKKARILA PLEADS FOR NEW LIVER

September 21, 2008

TROY LUKKARILA OFFERS CHALLENGE TO NATION'S KIDS

July 22, 2008

MAJOR UPSET IN FLORIDA LOTTERY

July 09, 2008

There was a major upset in this week's Florida lottery in that Troy Lukkarila didn't win. "I picked very strong numbers so there's no reason I shouldn't have won," stated a disheartened Lukkarila. "I believe the system is rigged and I'm officially calling for a federal investigation. I spent a dollar on this thing and I got back absolutely nothing! Do you think that's right?" He continued by urinating on the ticket and spitting in the face of the convenience store clerk who sold it to him.

PERCY ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED ARSON

June 24, 2008

Percy's mugshot
Troy Lukkarila's close friend Percy was arrested yesterday in Duval County for attempted arson. We here at Lukalips Destruction Co. are confident in our colleague's innocence and we believe that he will be vindicated when all the facts are presented.

TROY LUKKARILA ENDORSES VERNON TWINBURGER

June 22, 2008

Vernon Twinburger
"It's only natural that Vernon Twinburger gets my endorsement. After all, he's already serving you."
~ Troy

TROY'S FILM WINS 1ST PLACE AT ZOMBIE FEST
(Jacksonville Public Library 5th Annual Film Festival)

May 17, 2008

Also, check out Roy Peak's hilarious entry. You may see some familiar faces!

MUSLIMS, CHRISTIANS AND CELINE DION FANS UNITE AGAINST COMMON ENEMY

February 12, 2006

Across the globe outrage has erupted into violent protest due to the defaming of one of pop music’s dearest stars, Celine Dion, by Troy Lukkarila on his web site. They’re also a bit miffed about the Mohammed cartoons and the “Jesus skid mark” on his web site, but the Celine Dion thing really takes the cake.
Protester defends Celine Dion from Troy Lukkarila.
Celine Dion fan.
Death to America
Destroy LukaLips Destruction Co.

NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK BY TROY LUKKARILA

February 6, 2006

"I'm getting this strange vibe that my publisher doesn't like my new children's book. Sometimes you just can't make some people happy." -- Troy
EVEN MOHAMMED POOPED by TROY LUKKARILA

TROY'S BOOK DROPPED BY PUBLISHERS

February 4, 2006

Without warning or explanation Troy's book was dropped by his publisher even before it made it to the bookshelves. Said an irate Troy, "This is my life's work! They have offended me greatly by banning my blasphemous book and I shall take my revenge by setting fire to their headquarters!"
1000 silly cartoons of the prophet Mohammed

TROY REVIEWED IN THE BIG TAKEOVER

December 19, 2005

"Unsafe Structure" in issue #57 (25th Anniversary issue) of The Big Takeover.  It's not available online so march yourself to the nearest bookstore and pick one up.

FOLIO WEEKLY RUNS ARTICLE ABOUT TROY

December 7, 2005

Outstanding journalist Shelton Hull has a nice article this week about Troy in Jacksonville, Florida's Folio Weekly.  If you can't get your hands on a copy, you can read it here on the WB17 website.

Update -- The article can now be found here on the INK 19 website.

TROY'S CD "UNSAFE STRUCTURE" RELEASE TO THE UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC

November 1, 2005

Everybody in the entire world celebrates.

IT'S A MIRACLE!
JESUS APPEARS IN UNDERWEAR SKIDMARK

July 10, 2005

Jesus appears in underwear skidmark
What was described by Troy Lukkarila as "a very painful itch in a very private area" turned out to be a blessing in disguise, for shortly after scratching, Troy discovered the divine image of our Lord imprinted in his underwear. An ecstatic Troy exclaimed, "In the history of mankind there has never been greater indisputable physical evidence of God's glory!"

The heathens at eBay refused to list the "Jesus skidmark" under the guise that it is offensive material, therefore Troy will be holding a private auction. According to Troy, "The Vatican has shown interest and I'm hoping to work out a deal with them to where my Holy underwear can be publicly displayed among other great works of art -- perhaps in the Sistine Chapel."

Troy is hopeful that the Lord will continue to use him as a vessel. To prepare his body for God's work, Troy is currently maintaining a Krystal burger and prune juice fast.

Lukalips Destruction Co. Celebrates Year Without News

May 26, 2005

To celebrate 365 days without significant news, Lukalips Destruction Co. threw a massive party for the purpose of lifting the morale of its bored employees. Troy Lukkarila, being the only employee , was the only person in attendance. He drank too much. He drooled on himself and muttered something about suing himself for sexual harassment.
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