From the mouth of Troy:

I asked him to get off of his soapbox so I could get the soap.

From the mouth of Troy:

Spontaneous human combustion is extremely rare, therefore I've always found it bewildering I've witnessed it occur so many times to people I meet.

From the mouth of Troy:

I asked him to get off of his soapbox so I could get the soap.

From the mouth of Troy:

I've just never been committed enough to be a good alcoholic.

From the mouth of Troy:

The guy in the cube next to mine was surprised to find a gloryhole in his cube wall, but he was even more surprised by my penis in it. I'm like, dude, don't you know what a gloryhole is for?

From the mouth of Troy:

I have two modes: I am either scratching my balls or wishing I could be scratching my balls.

From the mouth of Troy:

What's the deal with God's obsession with foreskin?

From the mouth of Troy:

I'm a good looking man when the lights are out as long as you don't touch me and I don't speak.