The CD Collection

Unsafe Structure

I'm thinking of my personal heroes: JW Gacy, Mark David Chapman, Bozo the Clown, Sparklehorse. Make room for one more: Troy Lukkarila. Kids, don't get too attached to the characters in Troy's story lines on Unsafe Structure like I did - although the tales may begin with a beaming jolt of sugary sunshine, these cats are gonna' DIE! Here's how I arrive at what grandeur Lukkarila is making: Imagine Calexico drove their tumbleweed stagecoach of a cliff somewhere around Tempe (when not trying to ride coattails on Sam Beam's career, of course) and ended up discovering a notebook of unreleased solo David Byrne tunes around the " Miss America " time in his career ( Feelings). Add to that equation whomever survived the stagecoach trauma found love for the Devil and injected his charisma into their spine eight-balled with tainted pig's blood. That my friends is gearing you up for the fantastically schadenfreude tales Troy has sent us.

Backed by a crew that wields violins, saws and a vast array of digital horns & whistles (for performance and defense), Lukkarila's hymns are embedded with an almost cult-like B-movie score (hear: "Scars of Love"). Ok, I mentioned "Scars of Love" - you deserve a peek (you really must hear it) . This story begins swell enough, with a father telling of his love & joy for his daughter (from birth to this day): "You are smart as can be / you're headed for great things / I am so proud of you". Awww, shit Dad - thanks. Well, this particular anthem is really directed at any penis that attempts to ever knock his daughter up and/or off her predestined path to stardom. Basically atop a dark mix of violins and cinematic swirls, Lukkarila threatens to place physical "scars of love" on these boys (maybe even his daughter from what I can tell) - "deep gashes into the cheeks" and the like.. . shit yes! He seals it all up in a bloody ziploc by stating "little girl I don't think things are the same for us / but one day you will thank me for looking after your best interest" (pron. "in-trust" so it rhymes.. clever killer).

Are you still here? Good - see Troy isn't so wrapped up in twisted fiction (is it?) that he can't knock himself around a bit. He actually states, in quite a sad fit of acoustic art on "The Family", that he sucks as random guests at the party tell him what scum he is - but not before he admits to "fucking strange women" and pissing his pants. I honestly feel like I have found the man who has the ability to show Tenacious D their own fat asses with what he has cleverly stitched together (with human hair) on Unsafe Structure.

I swear, if the fucking Arcade Fire get a 33 1/3 book on that horror that is Funeral before Unsafe Structure gets hers, I will burn Paris to the crispy ground (wait.. .).
You think you know but you have NO idea. Unsafe Structure is to kids with paypal what Salinger is to clever killers in the Rye. [knowing Target carries his albums makes me smile to no end].

Revisiting the Jacksonville master of the offensive

John E. Citrone
Back in the late '90s and early 2000s, my ? original band became known around ? town for staging odd and unexpected events during our performances. For most of the weirdness, my band members were fully aware and participated in the "performance art." We would often act out band-ending arguments on stage, play songs in slow motion, or walk out of the club during the set (which left one club owner slack-jawed). But for one show in the fall of 2003, I decided to trick both the audience and the band at once. I hired a guy to enter the venue acting like a belligerent homeless man and cause a scene, threatening the band and disrupting the show. The only person in the club I hipped to the ruse was a bouncer; I instructed him to keep everyone from getting injured, but to allow things to otherwise play themselves out. Some time during our set, my "homeless" friend came in, looking disheveled and disoriented, and began screaming obscenities at us, saying we were the spawn of the devil and calling the female members of the band "whores."

I pretended to defend us, but he hopped up on stage, commandeered the mic and proceeded to berate us for our sins and further degrade the women in the band (including my wife). The audience didn't know what to do, but my bass player and a friend from the crowd leaped forth and pulled him from the stage, throwing him onto the sidewalk in front of the club. Were it not for the bassist, our mutual friend may very well have beaten the ever-living hell out of the poor guy.

That poor guy was Troy Lukkarila.

If you don't know Troy Lukkarila, you should. By day, he's a mild-mannered, soft-spoken Jacksonville intellectual who loves animals and works a humble 9-5. By night — and, OK, sometimes during the day, too — he runs LukaLips Destruction Company (, a website dedicated to the most perverse homemade films, art and music a person could get away with without getting arrested. (View the site at your own peril.)

The focus of this piece, however, is Lukkarila's second record, Don't Sit on Tables, released in 1999. The demented acoustic songwriter has released two other, equally disturbing records: his debut '98 album Every Day is Garbage Day and 2005's Unsafe Structure. The beauty of Lukkarila's music, especially that featured on Don't Sit on Tables, is its nonthreatening acoustic format. It's deceptively simple and, thus, very effective.

The lyrics, on the other hand, offer a psychotic trip through black, obsessive necrophilic misanthropy. Opening track "Compulsion" documents the dating woes of a hand-washing loner. "20 Bucks" is a miserable finger-snapping number about a 16-year-old's sexual awakening at the hands of a nasty 50-year-old hooker in the sleaziest part of town. "Road Trip," possibly the most disturbing tune on the record, tells of date rape and subsequent vehicular manslaughter.

There's more: "Love Is … Love Will" hinges on the lyric, "Love will fly over any border, and love will beat any restraining order. Love is more potent than any can of mace, and love will conquer your fingernails in my face." "Confessions of a Necrophiliac" lists the benefits of dating dead women, of which, apparently, there are many. "Warning" is just creepy as hell, while "Why Can't I Get a Gig?" captures what it's like for Lukkarila at any number of his live performances, him insulting the audience and then getting booed off by the angry mob.

Don't Sit on Tables features a host of local musicians — Mark Creegan, David Lauderdale, Craig Spirko, Roy Peak and Joe Flowers, among others — who may or may not have realized what they were getting into. Some have regained their reputations since. And the music herein is actually quite beautiful, some melodic and joyous, some dark and depressing, but all well written and performed. It really is worth revisiting — or hearing for the first time, if you're a Lukkarila newcomer.

It's funny to me that many extreme metal bands do their best to write the most offensive lyrics possible — about murder and rape and the apocalypse — and they don't come close to the darkness our dear Lukkarila musters on this record. Don't Sit on Tables remains a favorite album of mine, so sick and filthy and wrong that after listening, you will be washing your hands — and body — as obsessively as the anti-hero in "Compulsion."

Editor's Pick
Troy Lukkarila - Unsafe Structure

I enjoyed Troy’s “Don’t Sit on Tables” with its socio-political and left-leaning commentary and here he’s back with “Unsafe Structure”. A tremendous and diverse follow-up, the album populates your ears with melodies, off-kilter instrumentation and songwriting, and an overt bizarreness. Jacksonville, Florida may be his home but I dare say that he might be the product of some deviant and deficient gene pool in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Or at least that’s how clever he is. Don’t sweat the small things, he seems to say following it up with an audible carefree musical swagger in the form of lo-fi experimental rock with indie pop in one hand and Americana folk in another. Very cool Troy, very cool.

Editor's Pick
Troy Lukkarila - Don't Sit On Tables

Troy is awesome! And probably for more reasons that are inherently obvious on this album. His lyrics are astonishing at times and sometimes they’re funny and even biting at times. “Confessions of a Necrophiliac” starts with the line “It’s not that I like dead women” and continues on why dead girls are better than breathing ones. But it’s not all funny lyrics as evidenced by the line “I’m Amerikan made built from bad advice…and wrong assumptions” in his song “Playing God” which could certainly be applied to recent American foreign policy. But now you know about the lyrics what about the music? Well it’s lo-fi (but not poor quality—there’s a significant difference!) indie rock that could show Beck a thing or three. Crooning occasionally like so many singer/songwriters of yesterday like Dylan he blends styles and instruments like so many artists wish they could. Some standout tracks include “Road Trip” (gotta respect the djembe) and the two phone call tracks, which remind the listener of the lessons of the movie “Swingers”.

--J-Sin,September, 2003

Editor's Pick
Don't Sit On Tables: GRADE A

The first words out of this guy's mouth are "I want to date them but I scare them" I was hooked. He is a complete and total psychopath. Outside the lines and hard to define like Woody Allen in Zelig, Lukkarila morphs into the material. He is not a pretty singer, but neither was Roger Waters. The arrangements on this album are imaginative, foreign and amazingly acoustic as opposed to samples, patches and electronics. There's a Bertolt Brecht/Kurt Weill style of composition that comes straight from the 1920's avant-garde scene in Berlin, particularly the instrumental piece "Mama, Don't Slap Me In Public" which employs soprano saxophone, banjo, tambourine and a bass drum to maximum atonal effect. Lukkarila comes off like Kermit the Frog during the whimsical waltz of "Road Trip" which would, in itself, make an interesting movie about two friends and the adventure they share. But remember, this guy is unhinged, which becomes apparent in the set-up for "Love Is...Love Will," a hilariously disturbing tune about how love will "Beat any restraining order" Is this guy for real? This album may disturb the shit out of you, but it's so very nice to listen to. And the stories – a nasty encounter with an octogenerian hooker, a necrophiliac's ponderings, pyromania set to a beautiful acoustic guitar with an abrasive downbeat and ghostly vocal wailings. Dangerous stuff. Only for lovers of pure music and art. [email protected],

--Bing Futch, jam; Florida's Music Magazine , May, 2000; Issue #301

INK 19

Troy Lukkarila
Every Day Is Garbage Day

This record is a perfect example of why guitars and four-tracks need to be handed out to patients in insane asylums. Where would the world be without Daniel Johnston, after all? In that spirit, we have Troy Lukkarila, who has burned acoustic music with acid pouring from the sick reserves of his brain. And those burns are taaaasssttteeee.

The music is fun, for the most part, with poppy-sounding catchy hooks and melodies. But it is the story being told in the lyrics and the humorous sing-a-longs it entices that makes this a total winner. The title track, "Garbage Day," reminds me of some sort of old Butthole Surfers tune, with verses that make you realize how cool it would be to collect trash. I mean what other job gives you access to "headless dogs," "kiddie porn," and "used tampons"? Then the cut "Guys in Ties" critically, yet humorously, sides with assaholic office studs committing gang rape (sounds like the scene from The Accused with Jodie Foster). A love ballad follows, but then we get into some wild fucking noise action with an instrumental that proves this guy can make some cool sounds; and then my favorite track follows that bad rabbit. "Friends" is a ballad for our times. The piece examines the need we all have for a friend, and the desires we shelve to dismember them: "You don't need all the toes on your feet?" Awesome. Godawful lyrics and the most annoying Casio cello I've ever heard make this el numero uno.

Pimping, kicking your little brother's ass in, childhood memories of beating up a cripple, smacking your woman around, worshipping the TV... he does it all without apology and with alacrity in his heart -- straight outta reform school.

If I had a club, I'd book this guy immediately and make him a regular act. This is the enema that acoustic music needs to take it to the psychotic level. I'm all for it. Troy Lukkarila is welcome for dinner anytime. This revolting individual has produced a killer work of art. It's surprising what can come out of Jacksonville sometimes.

-- Lord Gregory,
INK 19, March 1999

INK 19

Mad Confessor
Troy Lukkarila… tweaks your sensibilities

The cover of Troy Lukkarila’s newest CD, Unsafe Structure, feature pictures of the luminous Alan Justiss standing on the porch of his old residence on College Street, which caught fire last year and destroyed everything but the man himself. It remains in its final state, legally and certifiably unsafe. But the title is a double-entendre, because what Lukkarila presents as the unsafe structure in the work is his own mind. Even his street team was a little worried at last month’s CD release party at 9th and Main . “I always knew he was warped, but…” said Kristen, the gal at the gimmick table. The show began at the door, with attendees given a nametag. Every one said “Jimmy,” and that was everyone’s name. Attendees were also given false teeth and gaudy neckties. The show ended with a mock mass suicide. In between could be seen the full range of his abilities as an artist and critical thinker. Of course, it’s not possible to release the full potential without a complicated assembly of mirrors, diamonds and orgone accumulators; the price of that may be prohibitive, but still a lot of show for the money. Lust, avarice, bloodletting and the glory of empire. Lukkarila was born a Navy boy in Virginia. He moved here as a youth, and his musical fixation dates back to high school. “Ol’ T-Roy here never wanted to be a guitar player, never set out to be one, but I had a lot of people wanting to be in a band who weren’t lifting their finger to learn any instrument at all, so I decided I should at least learn a little bit of guitar,” he says. “But I never got any good.” In his hands the axe is wielded like Freddie Green on a ginseng binge. The album, his third after Every Day is Garbage Day and Don’t Sit on Tables, is a product of his own Lukalips Destruction Company. Its wrecking ball logo turns up all over his output. Unsafe Structure features contributions from bassist/engineer Roy Peak, whose studio, Radical Recording, hosted the sessions. The saw stylings of Michelle Krasowski pop up, as does the multitalented Rebecca Zapen and drummer Sean Jones. The singing is handled by Lukkarila and his co-conspirator Tracey Moore; they share a home and a date of birth. Their duets can tickle the tummy and stiffen the spine at once.

Lukkarila is rightly identified as a local Jacksonville artist, but he maintains a steady following through the magic of cyberspace. His recordings have sold “in every continent, except Antarctica” and his artwork have drawn its share of commissions. “I learned early on that sending stuff out wasn’t getting me very far, but the Internet is perfect. Little pods around the world discover it here and there. … I’ve probably sold as many in Australia as I have in Jacksonville.” Samples of his work can be found on the website: audio clips, news items dating back to his boyhood, his image on the cover of Cat Fucker magazine. Among his visual projects, the flash animations take the most time to do. “The most meticulous thing about it is making the mouth move to match the sound. Perhaps the most infamous piece involves the stalking and decapitation of singer Celine Dion by a crazed fan. “I think the funny thing is that there are so many freak sites devoted to her, and that’s why I chose her. There are some searches where the results will really disturb you. Celine Dion is one of them, Tom Cruise is another.” And, of course, clowns. Another is “Clay Gone Wild,” a claymation-style short that basically takes up where “Girls Gone Wild” left off. It drew some complaints at the show, but not many.

The roughness of his live act contrasts sharply with the smooth production of his albums. It’s like he’s a professional lunatic. Behind the scenes, though, Troy Lukkarila enjoys the fierce loyalty of his friends in the business, who describe him as sweet and almost entirely harmless. He dabbled in other art forms like sculpture and computer animation, and he is currently renovating a house in Riverside. Is there any difference between one mode of expression and another? “One’s a labor of love, the other’s just labor,” he says, feet up on a balcony covered with potted cacti, content.

-- Shelton Hull,
INK 19, March 2006

Troy Lukkarila, Don't Sit on Tables (© 2001 Troy Lukkarila)

There's avant-garde, and then there's just plain out there, and Lukkarila is certainly alone in his orbit. Primarily acoustic guitars and vocals, he takes a decidedly different approach to songs – lyrics are biting and true, if from a somewhat skewed perspective. On "Road Trip," for example, he sings, "Next thing you know we were porking again, Then we walked out to get more beer, And you were hit by a car, So I knew it was time to leave this place, But it's been the best road trip by far." Or his cabaret, beat-poet, jazzy "Twenty Bucks," a tale of a 16 year old's odyssey with an over-50, bloated prostitute. Sure it's bizarre, and it's not sing-along stuff. But for the hearty souls out there, it's worth the venture.

--Bill Ribas,


Sorry, but this review not available online.  Here is a quote:

He's a one man anti-boredom brigade"

-- Jack Rabid   Issue No. 57

Unsafe Structure

If Leon Redbone went rootsy and acquired a somewhat juvenile sense of humor, he might sound like this. Troy Lukkarila has that "old timey" voice, and he sometimes even incorporates some older structures in his pieces.

Other times he comes off as a scratchy Jonathan Richman...which isn't the worst thing in the world, I guess. At times he goes a bit far for a joke, but he only sacrifices lyrics, not music. The sound on this album is wide-ranging and always intriguing.

Take the song "Lucy," which sounds more than a little like something Daniel Johnston might have written, except that these synth horns fly in at somewhat unexpected intervals. Weird, yes, and certainly unsettling, but nice nonetheless.

I've never been a fan of weird for weird's sake, and Troy Lukkarila probably fits into that category. But somehow the force of his personality and ideas turn the tide for me. I'm smiling all the way.

Jon Worley
Aiding & Abetting

Unsafe Structure

Something just ain’t right with this guy and I think that’s what makes him so damn interesting. Remember the Beatles trippy, LSD inspired period. Well, you can take a trip without the LSD just by giving Mr. Lukkarila a listen. “When You Get Home” is a great example of how you can feel totally punch drunk just from listening. The lyrics fly by faster than your mind can take them in and even if you do take them in you still don’t know what the hell they mean. I like to call this a cd collection of blotter songs made to entertain and maybe even enlighten your brain.

Review by J.R. Oliver


Troy Lukkarila - Unsafe Structure (CD, LukaLips Destruction Co., Obtuse pop)

This CD first caught our attention because Rebecca Zapan (one of our favorite artists of the twenty-first century) plays and sings on it. But we opted to review Unsafe Structure because the first track ("When You Get Home") had us laughing so hard that we almost fell off our comfy office chairs. You'll have to hear the lyrics on this song to believe it. Florida's Troy Lukkarila is a very strange recording artist. Sounding something like a bizarre underground American version of Neil Innes (but not really), Lukkarila is...first and foremost...a comedian. His extraordinarily loose recordings feature goofy stream-of-consciousness lyrics that are often hilarious...and almost always unusual. Because of the experimental nature of these recordings, it is difficult to rate something like this. So instead of rating this album, we'll leave it up to you, the listeners. Is Troy a mere weirdo goofball...or is he a modern genius...? Only time will tell... (Not Rated)

Review by LMNOP®   January 2006


Unsafe Structure (3 1/2 out of 5)

This CD is really fucked up.

I’m not one to go around dropping f bombs, but Unsafe Structure reminds me of kids digging glass bottles out of a dumpster and throwing them at a brick wall in the alley behind a bar, because they like the sound and they like watching the glass fly all over. Never mind that homeless people need to sleep there. Never mind that cars have to drive through there. They are doing something pointless and destructive for their own enjoyment.

I never really understood why people slowed down and looked at accidents on the side of the road, but after listening to Troy Lukkarila’s CD, I think I am going to start doing it too.
Of the CDs I auditioned this month, Unsafe Structure had the most-imaginative paperwork accompanying it. There was a nice announcement with a picture of a guy wearing those hillbilly teeth you can buy and holding a big cat. Or maybe the guy is small....

So let’s describe the music on this thing, shall we? Musically, there is nothing fucked up. I really like it. It might be a little lo-fi or organic-sounding for some people’s tastes, but so be it. There are some good arrangements and hooks and melodies and a lot of spooky production stuff, too. My first listen, I wasn’t really paying any attention to the lyrics, and then, on my second listen, I started to regret paying attention to the lyrics.

I think Lukkarila is taking a lot of poetic license and writing from the point of view of narrators who are generally mentally ill. Maybe Lukkarila is ill, but this sounds too put together for that. I’ve listened to the music of mentally ill people, and they tend to come off as outsider music. Wesley Willis and Daniel Johnson come to mind. This is not outsider music.

Let me give you a little taste without spoiling your appetite. The first song talks about burying the pieces of someone, but some pieces are missing. This is someone the narrator loved. Then the narrator addresses the son and tells him to quit crying and be a man, and daddy will find a new mommy. Another song was about a father who doesn’t want his daughter to “give it away too soon” so he cuts up her face. That way, she’ll be too ugly for the boys who just want to get some.

Hopefully you’re beginning to accept the fact that I’m saying this is fucked up. Not every song is quite that messed up though. Some are just a little bit sickening.
On his website Troy says that people either love him or hate him. I will have to say I am in between. I really like the musical portion of this CD a lot. However, I don’t know if I can bare repeated listens without tuning out the lyrics to some degree.

If you are sickeningly morbid, like that kind of humor and like lo-fi stuff, Unsafe Structure might be for you. If you don’t enjoy twisted macabre humor, don’t try listening to this. Just don’t do it. You’ll get mad at someone, and I am just going to say “I told you so.”

You can contact the author at: [email protected]

Don't Sit On Tables

Intro/general thoughts: Most of my acoustic guitar-playing artist reviews tend to be folk and/or bluegrass musicians. So a big thank you goes out to Troy Lukkarila for jarring me out of my folkie rut, even if it's only for a little while. As I listened to Lukkarila's sophomore release, "Don't Sit On Tables," I was taken back to my college days when the Violent Femmes and other esoteric music were frequently found on my mix tapes. Lukkarila's music is an odd-yet-effective combination of dark imagery and beat poetry combined with a wry sense of humor that appeals to every college guy who ever headed south for Spring Break.
Type of Music: Alternative

Hometown: Jacksonville, Florida

Highs: I really liked "Twenty Bucks," a coming of age story involving a boy, a woman, and a. . . monetary exchange.

Lows: I can't figure out Lukkarila's thinking behind "Good Wife." It was way too dark and morbid for my tastes, and the ending was depressing. I only hope it wasn't autobiographical.

Favorite Lines: Leave it to Lukkarila to manage to Jerry Springer-ize the noblest of emotions, Love. Think of it as background music for stalkers. Love will Climb over any border Love will Beat any restraining order And love is more potent Than any can of mace And love will Conquer your fingernails in my face.

Fans: If you like David Byrne, the Violent Femmes, James McMurtry, or Jim Painton, you'll like Troy Lukkarila.

Foes: If you like Barry Manilow or the BeeGees, Troy Lukkarila is definitely not for you.

Summary: While Troy Lukkarila's music might not be to everyone's taste, if you're into esoteric music, there's a little something for everyone here. If you like Tom Waits' lyrics, David Byrne's eccentricities, or James McMurtry's moodiness, then Troy Lukkarila's CD is one you definitely need to add to your collection.
Erik Deckers,

Cool Hand Luke (Every Day is Garbage Day)

Why can't there be more records like this one? Jacksonville songwriter Troy Lukkarila has come up with an antidote to all those angst-addled post-grunge folkies and self-proclaimed troubadours of acoustic rock with his debut CD "Every Day is Garbage Day." From the opening track, "Garbage Day"- a disturbing account of living in a dumpster- it is obvious that Lukkarila sees things a bit differently than the average strummer. Take the tune "Guys in Ties," a sing-along, beer-swilling ditty documenting a gang rape in a bar. The brutality of the moment is amplified by the glib, thoughtless manner in which the "Drunk Guy's" join in for the big chorus. How about the mean "Bitter Man," a prayer of sorts from an angry, bird flippin' putz with little to do but express his disdain for himself and others. He vainly begs for forgiveness for his crummy ways, all the while making things.worse. And there's Lukkarila's unique approach to creating the tunes. Sound effects- clanking glasses, overheard conversations- rise and fall beneath the major and minor progressions.

This is some great stuff- raw, pissed off and hilarious. Lukkarila took an interesting approach to distributing the CD as well, when he slipped a copy into the bin at Virgin Records in Orlando. "They won't know it's there until someone brings it to the counter," he laughs, calling his infiltration "reverse shoplifting." "Every Day..." was produced by Lukkarila, Craig Spirko and Roy Peak in Spirko's 12th House Records in Jacksonville.

-- John E. Citrone, June 2, 1998
January 2006

CD REVIEW: Troy Lukkarila - Unsafe Stuctures
Artist: Troy Lukkarila
Album: Unsafe Stuctures
CD Review: Troy Lukkarila

Are you the kind of person who thinks watching a South Park marathon on Comedy Central is a romantic evening? Do you have Bevis and Butthead on DVD? Do you think Dr. Demento is a misunderstood genius? Do you believe Howard Stern is the messiah? Were you ever asked to leave a screening of The Sorrow and the Pity because your laughter was disturbing the other patrons? If you answered yes to any or all of the above, I think I have a CD for you, Troy Lukkarila’s Unsafe Structures.

Unsafe Structures is rude, crude, gross, sick, twisted, childish, sophomoric and beyond politically incorrect to the point of being politically hostile. Don’t get me wrong, those are its best features. Normally, I am not attracted to such black humor, but something in Troy’s music (and I use the term advisedly) captured my attention. It’s… well, um, it’s funny. His wit may be less like a rapier and more like a rusty pocket knife, but it is still funny.

As with many who delve into the outrageous, Troy does not shy away from controversial or difficult subjects. Spousal abuse, murder, dismemberment, loss, revenge, regret, pain, and redemption are all grist for his mill, and that is just in the first song called When You Get Home. I should mention that there is the faintest echo of Tom Lehrer’s I Hold Your Hand in Mine in this song, but there is enough of Troy’s unique style to make even Professor Lehrer cringe.

Continuing in a controversial vein, the next song, Flash, is a paean to the simple joys of exposing oneself to strangers. Norris Lake is a fond remembrance of robbing a poor, old blind woman who ran a small store out of her home. The Family chronicles the disintegration of a family so dysfunctional as to make the rest of us seem normal by comparison. Don’t Give Up is wonderful song of encouragement to a person whose inferiority complex is well founded.

No review would be complete without discussing the quintessential Lukkarila song, Boobies. The song is a study in contrasts between the horrors of the world and the marketing use of, well, boobies. If you dig deep enough, there actually is a socially relevant point to this song, namely that Madison Ave blinds us to reality through use of sexuality and sexual imagery. While this is probably true, 20 minutes of CNN is enough to cause most people to crave some mind-numbing entertainment. It is merely supply and demand at work.

Is Troy Lukkarila’s Unsafe Structures for everyone? Probably not. But I think he has an audience, albeit a small and medicated one. Troy and his friends have put together a set of songs that are genuinely funny and entertaining for those who are open to the experience.. And while I can’t verify it personally, I suspect this CD would work even better under the influence of certain intoxicating substances. For a glimpse into the world of all things Lukkarila, check out Troy’s web site,


Troy Lukkarila / Don't Sit On Tables / 12th House (CD)

Lyrics are supposed to be the centerpiece here, but they're often a distraction. In "Compulsion", the main character is freakishly afraid of germs, which makes his statements ("There's germs everywhere and I gotta stay clean!") border on "Hey, ain't I weird?" territory. The whole song is like John Merrick, Elephant Man, going up to girls and saying, "I'm a hoot." Such joyously sung self-awareness from the song's subject also hurts "Confessions of a Necrophiliac"; chants like "Dead women are the only kind I ever get" is the type of line you expect from kids who still fart for laughs, not those trying to be Randy Newman. "Twenty Bucks", a prostitution fuck song between a 16-year old virgin and 50-year old hag, is equally weak; at the end of the song the virgin says "Twenty bucks don't get ya what it used to". Like what, for example? When the kid was twelve? Troy Lukkarilla, a good vocalist, musician and occasionally fantastic composer, is far better at song construction than lyrics (where he should only be applauded for playing "the bad guy" in each song). His worst failing is not entering his strange subjects' minds with honesty, and stooping to amusing himself far too readily. His present variety of broad satire might work on a TV skit show, or a video, but not here -- and not on an Adam Sandler album, either. -- td, September 24, 2001


Now this is one hell of a discovery to make… like Bob Dylan's younger, angrier, (and much, much sicker) brother! Delightfully twisted!


Like a boil on an otherwise perfect ass… Troy gleefully destroys tunes with awesome precision. Mix up Camper Van Beethoven, Bob Dylan and Ween.

Every now and again something pops up to remind you just how far an envelope can be pushed… that in fact, envelopes appear to be somewhat infinite in their traveling capability… if you're not listening to what's being said, Florida based Lukkarila's work is- for the most part- well constructed acoustic folk music with a kind of Dylan/Biafra/Ganno tone to the voice… and then suddenly you absorb the lyrics and are taken on a Patrick Bateman style tour of sadism, manipulation, beatings, kidnapping, rape, torture, necrophilia and cannibalism… all with beautiful phrasing and well placed harmonies demanding respect and envy from even the most prolific of folksters… this is just an awesome balance of the gentle nature of folk being delightfully corrupted NOT MUSICALLY but lyrically… doubled over and punked up the ass! With hooks and phrases catchy as hell and wonderfully crafted… it appeals to the prankster kid in everyone. Troy goes all the way out to disturb in the most thoughtful and extreme manner he can muster… his work is bludgeoned across two releases, his debut CD, Everyday is Garbage Day (pictured)- a definite first stop to slip into Lukkarila psychosis (and potentially the epicenter of Lukkarila madness), then the holy-err than thou follow-up Don't Sit On The Tables… and if that's not enough there's a plethora of free flash and regular media that will disgust and delight at: Rest assured, it won't be long before you find yourself stumbling home belting out drunken Lukkarila blasphemy to the masses…
The Cumbersome Compendium #3

Don't Sit On The Tables. Twelth House Records. LDC600.

This is an odd album! In some respects I was initially put off with the opening track, Compulsion. I was reminded of a cross between Magic Michael and an acoustic street performance artist. And yet, as the album progressed it revealed a collection of songs that were indeed bloody good. In fact, the first couple of tracks do the album no justice at all. Mama, Don't Slap Me In Public, Road Trip, Love Is Love Will, and Come Back are truly fine songs, although there is a hint of the performance artist lurking here and there. I love the two shortish tracks taken from an ansaphone (you need to hear them!!!). The second one has a darkness that reminds me of Roger Waters. In all there's sixteen tracks and eventually I realised that it's not actually a bad album. Still, like the opening chapter of a book, or story, hooks the reader, and an album should start with a pretty good song, and Compulsion isn't exactly listener friendly! Oddly mad album, and it's still growing on me... (Dw)
-- Dw,



well what can I say but: releases like yours are the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing!! ..different..daring..inspiring..EXCITING!! So, airplay guaranteed 'n forthcomming..


recently reconstructed my work as DJ.. only looking for/promoting the real *different* and *unique* .. along comes the new CD from Troy Lukkarila and I'm smashed! .. singer-songwriter? .. I love 'em but I'm recently drowning in singer-songwriter releases and have to admit too many sound the same -- *good and honest* music - yes! .. but where is a real personality?? .. seldom .. VERY seldom .. Troy is musical insanity .. unique .. pro! .. and VERY different!! ..for those who need *names*: this is like "Frank Zappa" produced a "Holy Modal Rounders" release when both where on the peak of their creativity! EXCELLENT release that immediately went to my *to keep forever* section!!
Lord Litter, march 2006 (musician, DJ,


Review Type: Don't Sit on Tables/CD Review
Article By: Shannon Taylor

I don't know what to write. I am still trying to recover from "Confessions of a Necrophiliac". Troy, I don't know for sure what the hell was going through your head when you made this CD but if you were trying to make music you were not successful. However, if you were trying to snag attention and shock those that listen into thinking you are very successful!

This is not a CD that everyone is going to get. Hell, I am not sure that I even totally understand what he is trying to say with his music. I still think that I could have lived a long and happy life without ever hearing "Confessions of a Necrophiliac". Shannon Taylor,2003

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Troy Lukkarila – Don’t Sit On Tables / 16 Tracks / 1999 Self-Released / / Reviewed 13 April 2004

Breaking out of the singer-songwriter with acoustic guitar glut of CDs, Troy’s “Don’t Sit On Tables” is a very Middle Eastern-influenced journey, which meshes well with a genre-bending desire by the keen intellect of Troy eirself. Mixing They Might Be Giants with the typical Dr. Demento fare, Troy is a keen purveyor of anything that is absurdist. The guest stars are really where the disc gains its steam, with a very jassy bass threading itself through the upbeat “20 Bucks”. Troy’s company’s (Lukalips Destruction Co) slogan is “Music for people who ain’t so damn stupid”; I refuse to be forced to creating mindless platitudes due to some unforeseen spectre of “stupidity”. Coming together more like a more coherent Steve Lieberman album, some of the tracks on “Don’t Sit On Tables” have a kernel of pop sensibility to them, especially the Voltaire-esque “Love Is…Love Will”.

“Don’t Sit on Tables” seems a little too bare, a little too weakly recorded, and as such, there are only a few times on this disc where a complete feel graces one of the tracks. The track in which all elements come into sync would have to be “Come Back”, which incorporates a horn and dual-vocal harmonies to completely detach the musical arrangement (beautiful) from the down-to-earth and gritty lyrics (such as “And there’s a sink full of dirty dishes…The dog staved to death/Cause I ate his food for lunch.”). A problem that continually rears its ugly head on “Don’t Sit On Tables” would have to be the large number of lyrics that Troy tries to cram into each line – eir’s delivery of these heavy lines really create interesting time signatures in the instrumental realm. The amount of experimentation that Troy attempts on “Don’t Sit on Tables” is truly amazing, and while every little aural googah doesn’t completely work, Troy does have a great track record with eir’s experiments.

Overall, there are brief flashes of brilliance on this disc, but most of the disc ends up settling in the same anemic indie-rock that has been a constant factor in the last few reviews. Troy has a much larger presence than many of eir’s guitar-holding, coffee shop-playing compatriots. This disc may have every component necessary to be compelling, but the simple fact here is that I just can’t draw anything in the way of emotional attachment to this album. This album is half a decade old; perhaps Troy has evolved and matured since then.

Rating: 5.3/10

Top Tracks: 20 Bucks, Love is…Love Will


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Troy Lukkarila – Unsafe Structure / 2005 Lukalips / 14 Tracks / / Reviewed 01 January 2006

A Spartan sound is the hallmark of Lukkarila’s music on “Unsafe Structure”. The vocals are strong but during tracks like “Scars of Love”, they do not feel full unless there is a second set to compliment the first. It is only when “Scars of Love” kicks into instrumentation that Lukkarila begins to succeed; the classical instrumentation is enough to create a sound that is genuinely creepy. This creepy sound continues with “Norris Lake”, where a mournful moan adds onto the first set of vocals to create something that is again many times more solid than a simple set of vocals. The first real hit on “Unsafe Structure” comes during “Julie”, which uses a sixties set of strings mixed with a very nineties type of alternative instrumentation to come up with an interesting plea for play.

The sound of “Unsafe Structure” jumps from creepy to just weird during “The Family”; the track may just be the only one to use pig noises that I’ve ever heard. When Lukkarila is trying to create serious music, what issues forth is relatively fun and listenable (this is evidenced during tracks like “Don’t Give Up”. When Lukkarila begins to experiment, listenability decreases and the experimentation does not yield the same results as more serious experimental artists – like Khanate or Eno. There are fourteen tracks on “Unsafe Structure” and I feel that the disc would succeed easier if a few of the weaker performing ones were dropped; there are middle of the ground type of songs like “Make Her Happy” that do espouse a solid style of arrangement while not seeming too vanilla. There seems to be quite a few times on “Unsafe Structure” where Lukkarila gets into a groove that results in a few solid tracks, but there are some confusing tracks strewn about that demolish any momentum that the disc may have accumulated.

“Dignity” seems to be a track that would be more suited for Voltaire than the down-home, almost backwards looking music of Lukkarila; the over the top vocals on this track pretty much are the only thing that stick out from what is in reality a pretty normal track. Where “Don’t Sit On Tables” strayed much closer to a formula than “Unsafe Structure”, this formula may actually have helped Lukkarila out as this album seems disjointed and without much in the way of a focus. Here’s hoping Lukkarila can create something much more coherent for eir next album. Top Tracks: Carpenter, Lucy
Rating: 4.5/10



A salutary reminder of why Zeitgeist operates from the anonymity of a PO Box. After all, you wouldn't want Troy to come chapping at your door, with this headless dogs, kiddie porn, used tampons. All items the near title track refer to amongst his tales of collecting trash. Nice.

There's "Guys in Ties" getting involved in gang rape (and why the bastards / soccer players get away with it) and "Friends", a beautiful ballad about how we have to put aside our desires for dismembering our nearest and dearest. Madder than a very mad thing, replete with Casio keyboard, Troy is a poet for our times, a Daniel Johnston you can actually listen to.

Alternately, you may want to make an anonymous phone call to a social services department, with a history of enforced medication liability law suits, and see if you can drop some sugar on them. You know you want to.

Troy also tell us why we should hire him for your next corporate black tie dinner. Amongst the reasons given are:

Troy has never incinerated his fans.
As long as he's not in jail, Troy is very reliable.
Troy has above average personal hygiene.
Troy has a cute ass, or so his girlfriend says.
Troy will not have sex with your underage daughter- unless she really begs and she's cute and his girlfriend is not around.

That should be enough to have you buying this CD now.

PS - Troy is not me operating under a pseudonym.



I'm reasonably sure I told Troy to go away and leave me alone. Hang on while I check, talk amongst yourselves.................. right, shush, what I said about "Every Day Is Garbage Day" was 'A salutary reminder of why Zeitgeist operates from the anonymity of a PO Box. After all, you wouldn't want Troy to come chapping at your door, with this headless dogs, kiddie porn, used tampons.'

But no, he had to go and send me another one. I tried hiding it, burning it, exorcising it, all to no avail. Eventually, like Jason Vorheer, it resurfaced, replete with the scariest picture of a man and a cat outside of "Animal Farm" (and I'm talking about the German version, not the Orwell one!).

It's the usual countrified beefheartian rhythmic tales of spousal abuse, indecent exposure, breasts, virginity and hobbits. It should be illegal, straitjacketed and it's all your won fault if you choose to ignore my sage advice.

--unknown reviewer, Zeitgeist, June 2006


Troy Lukkarila - Unsafe Structure - CD

(Luka Lips) What the hell is this mutha' fukin' piece o'shit? It sounds like some stinky hippy reject from the Manson family spewing out crap about beatin' the shit out of a woman and killin' her in front of a kid and that's just the first song. This guy should stop putting out shitty horn-filled hippy-trippy garbage and spend the money on a case of soap and flea powder. This boy sounds like he needs his ass kicked by his mama.
-- Nunchuka' Muthafuka' (2006)


Troy Lukkarila
Unsafe Structure
LukaLips Destruction Co.

Troy Lukkarila is totally weird and outlandish, but just like a bad car accident you can't help but pay attention to his music. Lukkarila's latest album tilted "Unsafe Structure" is a folk inspired freak out. The album begins with "When You Get Home" a song that describes a murder in a not so serious matter with rootsy circus music. The song features the main character murdering his wife and burying the body in the backyard, but he becomes nervous when he realizes he has misplaced the corpse's feet and heart. In his songs Lukkarila makes an effort to discuss touchy subjects with a comical tone. The eccentric nature of the songs continue through out the album with tracks including "Flash" which is about a man who exposes himself to women, making use of such lyrics as "looking at my guy he's all nice and flappy he just wants to make you happy". The rest of the album is more of the same.

Stylistically the music is well recorded and produced but the song subjects make the album a novelty instead of an CD one would want to listen to more than once. On "Scars of Love" Lukkarila attempts to be serious with an ode to his daughter but it soon turns direction into the obscure. I think that if Lukkarila would try to be a little more mature in his songwriting he might actually be well received. Then again it is this unconventional behaviour that draws my attention, even if I don't really want to listen to the album. Check it out, you be the judge.

Paul Borchert
Mote Magazine
Unsafe Structure
(July 2006)
Troy Lukkarila Unsafe Structure CD ( If Daniel Johnston had a wife and kid, he might sing cranky pop songs like these. The warbly, mannered vocals have that acquired taste outsider quality, and nearly every song runs long, but the pop sensibilities keep things from getting impossibly self-indulgent. Still, the song from the POV of a flasher should have tipped me off that a love song to a baby daughter couldn't stay sweet straight through. I kinda hope the daughter is an imaginary character, because no real kid should have to deal with a dad obsessed with preserving her virginity from the teenage boys of the future, much less singing about it!
(Kim Cooper)



Perhaps you could get a good idea of where Troy Lukkarila is coming from if I quoted a few lines from his song Compulsion: "WASH MY HANDS! / There 's germs everywhere / And I gotta stay clean! / There's germs everywhere /and they 're all after me!" Yes, Lukkarila specializes in silly songs, enriched with a moronic, low-brow humor that would make Dr. Demento proud, a la Art Paul Schlosser.

Most of the album plods along the expected course of stoopidity (especially on songs like Confessions of a Necrophiliac), yet a few tracks stand out above the rest. The somber mood of Road Trip gives the illusion of a serious song, yet the self-deprecating and juvenile lyrics push irony to the limit: "Mother I do such bad things / Can you look at your son the same?" The same feeling is present in Shy Boy and Playing God. This is where Lukkarila goes beyond mere dumb for dumb's sake and into dark comedy that can be downright painful in its subject matter.

MISH MASH Mandate: Use Your Illusion


I am confused. I don't know whether Troy Lukkarila is serious or playing some sort of joke. Either way, this Jacksonville songwriter has me scared. The songs on his self-released CD "Everyday Is Garbage Day" are disturbing to say the least. Many of the songs deal with touchy subjects such as domestic violence and murder, but not in an anti-violent way. It's more of an "I like to beat my girlfriend and kill my childhood playmates" kind of way. I can't figure out if the tone is a sarcastic or psychotic. It would be nice to think of it as sarcasm, but it's just too hard to pin. Perhaps Troy Lukkarila is being sarcastic, but I just don't get the joke.

--Bryon Massey, Prax, July 1998


It makes your whites whiter and your brights brighter.

I was lying on the living room floor when I first heard Troy Lukkarila. I immediately poked my head up & said, "What is this? I like it!" A couple more songs into the album I shouted, "I love this!" By the end it was my new favorite cd.
If you're tired of the ordinary, bored with the predictable and the weird just isn't weird enough then this cd is definately for you. Refreshing lyrics like "Dead women are the only women I can ever seem to get" or "love is more potent than any can of mace" juxtaposed with pleasant melodies reminiscent of The Muppet Movie are just the right spice to liven up any stew. It makes your whites whiter and your brights brighter. Simply brilliant.