From the mouth of Troy:

I've been stuck in this Columbia House deal for 30 years. I just need to buy 48 more albums at regular price + shipping and handling then I'm free!

From the mouth of Troy:

I did my best to give my boy a name the other kids wouldn't make fun of, but alas, I failed. I'm so sorry, Flukhed.

From the mouth of Troy:

The world finds many interesting ways to tell you that you're a failure.

From the mouth of Troy:

I've just never been committed enough to be a good alcoholic.