From the mouth of Troy:

I found my nipple in the strangest place.

From the mouth of Troy:

How come nobody ever let me in on this whole masturbation thing until now? This is awesome! What will they come up with next? I won't give away the ending in case you haven't tried it.

From the mouth of Troy:

I lost an entire Q-tip in my ear.

From the mouth of Troy:

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's those damn leprechauns.