From the mouth of Troy:

The strangest thing about aging is I have watched my belly button gradually move up my stomach throughout the years. It's now sitting above my right nipple. I'm so self-conscious about it that I almost put a shirt on when I go to Home Depot.

From the mouth of Troy:

You can make a good living out of being useless.

From the mouth of Troy:

If you build it I will piss on it.

From the mouth of Troy:

I'm a good looking man when the lights are out as long as you don't touch me and I don't speak.