From the mouth of Troy:

I lost an entire Q-tip in my ear.

From the mouth of Troy:

Great people don't take credit for anything. I'll take credit anywhere I can get it.

From the mouth of Troy:

How many of your boyfriends am I going to have to kill before I'm the next in line? Jeez, it ought to be my turn by now.

From the mouth of Troy:

We were frolicking in the water and I held her head under a little too long. Oops.