From the mouth of Troy:

If you leave your mother in the refrigerator long enough, she will look like any other food.

From the mouth of Troy:

I used to not wear green on St. Patty's Day just so I would get pinched. Nobody pinched me.

From the mouth of Troy:

My clothes aren't a statement. I simply use them to cover my genitalia. It's a law you know.

From the mouth of Troy:

I've been on this planet many years, but I just figured out today I can lick my own armpit.