From the mouth of Troy:

My clothes aren't a statement. I simply use them to cover my genitalia. It's a law you know.

From the mouth of Troy:

I have two modes: I am either scratching my balls or wishing I could be scratching my balls.

From the mouth of Troy:

I shit my pants in the shower. I don't know why I was wearing pants in the shower.

From the mouth of Troy:

I used to not wear green on St. Patty's Day just so I would get pinched. Nobody pinched me.