From the mouth of Troy:

I've been on this planet many years, but I just figured out today I can lick my own armpit.

From the mouth of Troy:

She must be the cleanest girl in the world or else she has some bowel problem because every time I call her, her roommate says she's in the bathroom.

From the mouth of Troy:

Got to heaven only to find God is an annoying name dropper.

From the mouth of Troy:

Nobody appreciates the amount of work it takes to be a good creeper.