Got to heaven only to find God is an annoying name dropper.
From the mouth of Troy:
His shoes gave him away. Yes, he had to be an asshole.
From the mouth of Troy:
First chip was stale. Better try another in case it was a fluke. Second chip was stale. Better try another. Turns out none of these chips in the couch cushions were fresh!
From the mouth of Troy:
Spontaneous human combustion is extremely rare, therefore I've always found it bewildering I've witnessed it occur so many times to people I meet.
From the mouth of Troy:
Nobody appreciates the amount of work it takes to be a good creeper.